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TSA agents discover the difficulty of conventional security measures on Santa's elves. "It was like a puzzle finding all the bells on each elf. My hands were covered in elf glitter after just the first pat-down" [Obvious] - 1 hour ago
Amtrak tempts fate and sends out a news release touting its efficiency in moving travelers during last weekend's major snowstorm in the Northeast. As many already know, fate doesn't like to be tempted [Obvious] - 1 hour ago
"Secret Santa" pays $1000 to local utility office to stop utilities shutoff for as many residents as possible because, you know, Christmas is all about consumerism & stuff [Sappy] - 1 hour ago
Man arrested after he steals blow-up doll, instigates disturbance, then changes into a woman's jogging suit while stealing a gun. This is the cost of inflation [Dumbass] - 1 hour ago
The police were pulling over everyone driving down that sidewalk. That's profiling, which is of course, wrong [Dumbass] - 2 hours ago
Craig Lynch is looking for an unmarked car, a hack-saw, and trash bags for mafia wars. [Comment] [Like] [Help Craig Now] [Dumbass] - 3 hours ago
Rhode Kill [Sick] - 3 hours ago
Photoshop this incipient alcoholic [Photoshop] - 3 hours ago
New Jersey initiates "Silver Alert" system to help locate missing seniors. Plans for an "Orange Alert" system abandoned after MTV beat them to the punch [Amusing] - 3 hours ago
Wal-Mart, always low prices, always illegally videotaping customers and employees in the bathroom [Asinine] - 4 hours ago
Wheelchair bound man with explosives holds hostages at Post Office. Is now on the "Naughty" list [News] - 4 hours ago
Today's Incoherent Headline Award goes to: "Recipe for Oscar Nom Trash Middle Tea-Bagging America." Om nom nom [Amusing] - 4 hours ago
Drugs make you do dumb things. Like shooting yourself in the stomach at your friend/drug dealer's house, who's under house arrest and not wearing his electronic home detention monitor because he's dealing drugs [Dumbass] - 5 hours ago
The terrorists can not stop our freedom, not as long as we can order a 6-inch Italian B.M.T [Spiffy] - 6 hours ago
Few things liven up a Christmas lingerie show like gunfire [PSA] - 6 hours ago
Scientists discover link between the mother's occupation and specific birth defects. Risks higher for custodians, lower for teachers. In the case of your mom, it explains the dimpling in the top of your head [Interesting] - 7 hours ago
Local food isn't always better, the rainforest is a man-made creation, large farms are good for the enviroment, and other eco-myths debunked [Interesting] - 7 hours ago
Man visits neighbor twice asking for beer and later breaks into the neighbor's house to steal more beer, proving that Farkers can be pretty persistent when the need arises [Amusing] - 9 hours ago
Woman claims she was strip-searched due to racial profiling, customs agents claim it's because she's hot [Strange] - 9 hours ago
Balloon Boy Dad gets 90 days in jail, will not be allowed to be spokesman for Jiffy Pop [Followup] - 9 hours ago